Walk through fire.

My first step into recovery was a cold turkey detox on a country jail cell floor. the poison leaked, seeped, spewed, and exploded out of mostly every orifice of my shaking body, EWWW!. Two of the substances that I was involuntarily quitting can kill you in the detox process, and the others in combination caused auditory, visual, and tactile hallucinations. hell, and that's it. Is how I would explain that experience. My original views on how recovery was going to change my life served a great purpose, however, the life that my eyes are opening up to now, I could have never imagined. I cant help but study the path that has brought me from there to here, I cant help but examine the awakenings and breakthroughs that are responsible for this new life that is being formed almost on a day to day basis.Yesterday I read a sentence, "Adversity fuels a fire prosperity could never form". These words hit so close to home with me they gave me chills. Wow! am I becoming grateful for every beating Ive received  mentally, Physically, emotionally, and spiritually? Well... Yes! My initial motivation for getting sober was to get rid of all the lame consequences that leading a reckless life wasted bring about, and it worked! Yes there are residuals, but now that I can feel my feelings I see that life's trials, and walking through them is what makes me a better me. Not just a better me but a powerful me, a peaceful me. That's what I always wanted, and could never achieve because every time an obstacle  appeared in my life I ran full speed in the opposite direction.This went on and on until I ended up cornered and there was no where to go except forward. Forward through the fire, sober, no matter how bad I thought it was going to hurt. funny thing, It only hurt half as much as I had expected,and when I arrived at the other side still alive and stronger, I wasn't as afraid of the next flaming hoop I was supposed to leap through.. There was something else I hadn't predicted, other people. Other people walking through the fire with me. They help me and I help them, and the feeling I get when I help others is what Ive grown to enjoy the most. Brothers and sisters my bottom was low, and dark but that's not what makes this work. What makes it work is willingness to change. I was just so stubborn that I had to experience true pain in order to see the path to peace. My birth into recovery had to be a cesarean section or I would have died, and now I see so clearly that I was never meant to put what I had back together, but learn there was something entirely new and beautiful that I was to become.